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Fun FreeSpace Fanfic

Axem

Axem

MRRFR MRRF!
Oh noes. Axem is trying to write. This was more of a spur on the moment thing. Since I'm terrible at writing realistically, I wrote something funny. Or atleast somewhat funny. I'm good at that. I think...

===

There was once a great pilot in the universe. One so great, that there was not a single mission that he failed, not a ship that he could not destroy, not a convoy that he could not protect. That man was Alpha One and this is his story...

Actually, no. Alpha One's story is still under copyright until 593A85 AS (After Shiva). So instead we bring the next best thing.

The Adventures of Alpha 27 And A Half!

Chapter 1- Patrol Run

Space was dark. The blackness of space was so grabbing, that it was possible to grasp the pure infinity of past. Alpha 27 And A Half pondered the great void. He thought of home, eating kettle chips and watching reruns of the hit Holoshow 'Headless'. It was only until he thought of space that he realized something. He wanted to be up there, in space. Fighting the Shivans and NTF. Soon he would get his wish.

Alpha 27 And A Half woke up when he was pushed forward by a sudden stop. He looked ahead and saw a large cargo container that he had run into. He began to manuver around the container. His comm then came on with the very loud Beta 92 on the other end of the line.

"Alpha 27 And A Half!", she yelled across the comm, "Are you sleeping off on the job again? We have things to do! Like... like protecting this classified cargo! Honestly. We can't win the war with people like you around."

As she continued yammering on, a jump node opened up right behind her. A giantic Orion destroyer emerged from the bright blue and white vortex. Beta 92 was too busy yelling to notice that the destroyer was about to run into the very small and insignificant Hercules II fighter she was in.

"What's that? Did we hit something?", the comm officer of the Orion asked to anyone listening as the Orion came to a halt, "Oh well, guess not. This is the EnnnTeee er...GTD... Terran. Yes, the GTD Terran! We are here to pick up the classified cargo!"

"It's in that cargo container", Theta 80 spoke up, referring to the container Alpha 27 And A Half had hit a few moments ago, "TR-TRI class to be exact. Currently only GTFr Tritons can carry them. I don't see any thing like that." Theta 80 had a repuation of being somewhat, to put it nicely, incredulously anal.

"Right, okay. Just a second.", the comm officer left his station for second to consult with the captain. The officer got back and sat back in his chair and continued the conversation, "Okay, we are going to tie the Container to the ship. We think we have enough rope. We just got a bunch of it."

"A HA! LIES! I know who you are, don't try to deny it!", Theta 80 blasted. "SOC! Any spies would only think a Triton would come, but you ultra super smart SOC agents outwit them again!" Thetha 80 also had a big imagination too.

"A-ha, That's quite right. I bet you'd make a good agent one day! Now, uh. We're gonna tie the container to our hull, so um. Stay away."

"Yes sir!", Theta 80 said with the most powerful respect. It's not too late to mention he also had the reputation of being quite gullible. He might agree with that except he doesn't know what it means. After all, it's not in the dictionary, now is it?

As the tiny support ships flew around the container and the Terran, tying them together. As Alpha 27 And A Half flew his patrol, he came to the starboard side of the destroyer. He looked left, and the nameplate caught his eye. NTD Vengeance. What could this mean? He thought, and thought, and thought. Then it dawned on him. He was about to open up his comm channel when another jump vortex opened up.

Out came another large ship, it was most unlike any other ship in the Terran fleet. Mostly because it wasn't Terran, it was Vasudan. A GVD Hatshepshut destroyer. The comm cracked open to the odd Vasudan language. With a half second delay it was translated into what the Terrans could understand.

"Attention Vengeance, power down your engines and prepare to be boarded!", the Vasudan ordered, "There is no escape this time. Surrender!" Alpha 27 And A Half knew what was happening. It was so obvious.

There's a ship.
The NTD Vengeance.
There's another ship.
The GVD... let's call it the Hoover, since they didn't say who they were.
The Hoover and the Vengeance have been meeting to plan to overthrow the GTVA.
The SOC figures this out and captures the Vengeance.
The SOC plans to impersonate the NTF crew in order to arrest the Vasudan captain.
But the Vasudan captain figures this out somehow.
He attacks and the SOC must recover the secret weapon the NTF was going to take!
Alpha 27 And A Half would not let the renegade Vasudan get his way.
He would uphold the values of the GTVA!

"All fighter squadrons, attack!" The order came from the Hoover. Five wings flew past Alpha 27 And A Half. Their flanks were exposed to him. And then he jumped into action...

He hit his head on the cockpit window. He made a mental note not to jump in his small fighter again. He opened up a private channel to Theta 80 and told him of this dire plan. Theta 80 saluted him for his grand deductive skills and awaited his orders. Alpha 27 And A Half told the rest of his squad, the 10110th Flaming Ice Cubes, to attack the rogue ships on his command. Alpha 27 And A Half turned his throttle up to 100% and took off for the Vasudan fighters headed for the Orion destroyer.

===

Continue?
'Y'es / 'N'o
 
===

Chapter 2- Tactics

Alpha 27 And A Half switched to the secondary bank with the Hornet Swarm missiles. He gave the order to his squad, and launched his missiles. The 8 missiles streaked from the missile tubes toward the 3 Horus fighters in front of him. The missiles kept coming out, as if Alpha 27 And A Half wanted to completely obliterate the renegade Vasudans. But actually the button was stuck, and within 5 seconds, Alpha 27 And A Half had no Hornets left.

Forgetting that Hornets are NOT heatseeking, the missiles completely missed the fighters. Alpha 27 And A Half needed to rearm, he had used his Rockeyes and Tempests in a dare with the recently deceased Sigma 55. Alpha 27 And A Half brought up his comm menu. A holo-clip popped up and began asking if he wanted to check for updates. Alpha 27 And A Half clicked no. It then asked him if he wanted to upgrade his shields to v3.15.6b. He clicked no again. He kept clicking 'no' until the holoclip was done and Alpha 27 And A Half accidently clicked the 'Erase All Contacts' button on the comm menu.

Luckily, Alpha 27 And A Half memorized the holo-number for the support ship. It was 474F.4F42.4552.5000... or was or 5001? He dialed it, and someone picked up the holo-phone.

"This is Alpha 27 And A Half," he began, "I need help here! Fast! Now! I'm gonna be in big trouble if you aren't here soon."

"Yeah, no trouble there dude", the voice on the other end of the line replied, "So what do you need?"

"Just the usual."

"Yeah, okay. No problem. This thing happens all the time. Were do we deliver to?"

"366 Orion Space Avenue."

"Gotcha little buddy, we'll be there in no time." The comm channel closed and the battle was still going on. The Hoover has positioned itself almost right infront of the Terran-Vengeance, blocking its way out. The Terran-Vengeance was trapped.

On board the Terran-Vengeance, the captain was rushing to the bridge. When he got to his destination, he wanted a status update.

"We're still trapped," came the reply from the helm.

"Damn!" the captain exclaimed, "I really thought opening all the starboard windows would've steered us away from it." The ship shook from the impact of another beam hit from the Hoover. An idea dawned on the captain. "Hey wait, have we tried firing OUR beam cannons?"

"Genius sir!" the tactical officer said with all amazement, "Oh no. That giant container is right in the forward beam cannons path."

"Whose idea was that again?"

"Yours sir."

"Lieutenant, I want you to slap me next time I make a plan involving tying things with rope."

"Aye sir." The captain sat down at his captain's chair and drank from his captain's cup as he looked at his captain's screen which was displaying the latest results from the captain's tournament on Captaina V.

"How are our fighters doing?" the captain inquired.

"Well, uh, really odd," the tactical officer reported, "Two GTVA fighters look like they've just defected to our side."

"Must be my incredible charisma."

"Of course sir." came the reply from one of his officers, who were all trying to avoid eye contact with him.

Back in the battle, Alpha 27 And A Half had just finished off another fighter. It may have already exploded a few times, but Alpha 27 And A Half was taking no chances. The Hoover let loose another beam strike, hitting the Terran-Vengeance above its fighterbay. Alpha 27 And A Half flew toward the Terran-Vengeance to protect it against the attacking ships.

Back on the bridge, the captain was still thinking of an idea to escape from this mess.

"What if we rammed them?" he asked his bridge crew.

"Then the classified cargo would be destroyed" his science officer noted.

"What if we self-destructed?"

"We'd all die." the tactical officer responded.

"Excuse me," the helm officer began, "But, can't we just fly over them?"

"GENIUS!" the captain shouted, "You'll make lieutenant one day!"

"But, I'm already a lieutenant." Her statement was ignored by the captain who appeared to be more interested at his captain's screen at the moment. "Uh sir?"

"Huh?" the captain came back to reality, "Oh yeah. Go over it! Prepare for jump drive! Recall the fighters!"

Alpha 27 And A Half did a barrel roll to shake off his persuer, he didn't see who exactly it was, he was too busy diong barrel rolls. He slowed down and saw a Herc II spin out of control right over his head. A Herc II, Theta 80 was flying a Herc II! The evil Vasudan captain had opened up the comm, most likely to gloat about killing the prized fighter pilot. Instead came the announcement that the Orion was preparing to jump out. Alpha 27 And A Half needed to escape from these evil Vasudans. He raced to the Terran-Vengeance's fighterbay.

On the Hoover's bridge, the Vasudan captain surveyed the changing scene. The XO came up to him.

"Sir, the Vengeance is recalling their fighters. And one of ours appears to be doing the same."

"What a brave pilot.", said the captain, "Sneaking into a NTF ship during the confusion and chaos. Godspeed pilot."

"I don't think he can hear you, sir"

"GODSPEED PILOT!" the captain yelled, "Think he could hear that one?"

"Yes sir", the XO said, he turned to a monitor that was flashing, "Sir, another ship exiting subspace!"

Alpha 27 And A Half saw the ship emerge. It was Elysium class, one of the most common transports in the GTVA.

"Uh yeah hey there," the pilot began, "I got, like, a delivery for a... Alpha 27 And A Half..." It was the support ship! Alpha 27 And A Half opened up his comm.

"That's me," Alpha 27 And A Half shouted into his microphone, "follow me if you want to save the GTVA!" Alpha 27 And A Half flew past the transport, then guided it into the Terran-Vengeance's fighter bay. As the transport landed, the Terran-Vengeance lept into subspace and came out a few seconds later, completing its intra-system jump.

Alpha 27 And A Half opened up his cockpit and looked around. He saw quite a few people with guns pointed at him. The lead officer stepped forward and gave the order.

"FIRE!"

===
 
I hope to update this daily, assuming my luck with computers holds out for a bit.

===
Chapter 3- Join the NTF!

The legion of guards pulled their triggers and fired their weapons.

"AUGH!" Alpha 27 And A Half yelled. He fell out of his fighter and hit the floor head first. "Pilot down! I die... in peace..." A moment passed, Alpha 27 And A Half opened his eyes and looked at where the weapons had hit. "Hey wait, this stuff is water." The lead officer spoke up.

"Um, sorry we sprayed you but," the lead officer paused for a second trying to make something of this, "Your uh, fighter was on fire..."

"You need that many people to extingush a fire?"

"They don't call us the 35th Neo Terran Firefighter Brigade for nothing!" the fire chief looked at Alpha 27 And A Half carefully. "Are you okay? You came down head first. On hard metal."

"That happens all the time.", Alpha 27 And A Half paused, "I think. I can't really remember." As Alpha 27 And A Half wondered about his cranial history, a tech came by and looked at the side of the wet fighter. The fighter logo caught his eye.

"Hey! The Flaming Ice Cubes is a GTVA Squad!" the tech yelled, suddenly all eyes were on Alpha 27 And A Half. Guns too. Real guns.

"I don't work for THAT GTVA." Alpha 27 And A Half laughed, "I work for the good guys, not those corrupt Vasudans that were chasing us." The fire fighter chief smiled.

"Oh, so you've decided to join us then." said the chief with a highbrows high enough to make a hull breach.

"I can join you guys?" Alpha 27 And A Half's eyes lit up, "This is such an honour." All of a sudden the door to the Elysium transport opened up and out came a tall man with a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and a big hat.

"Who's ready to party?!" the man shouted, "I got lots of Beer, Pizzas, and tons of other stuff! Who wants to help me unload it?" All of a sudden everyone in the hangar rushed to the Elysium eager to help out. "Now, uh, who's Alpha 27 And A Half?" Everyone pointed toward the pilot. The man walked up to the pilot.. "Here's the bill dude. 1,000 pizzas, 45 kegs of Bosch Beer, 500 orders of Buffalo Wings, yadda yadda, comes to 529,025.57 credits."

"You're a support ship?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked.

"You could say that. But, you like, called for a massive party right?" The man pointed toward the side of the Elyisum. A giant logo was displayed with the words "FredBob's Massive Party Catering Company". The holo-number painted on the side was one digit off from the standard GTVA Support Ship hotline.

"You're FredBob?"

"Yup. Now, cash or charge?" he held out his hand wanting some form of currency. Then all of a sudden the fire fighter chief called out to Alpha 27 And A Half.

"Hey, new pilot! The captain wants to speak to you!"

"Duty calls!" Alpha 27 And A Half ran off leaving FredBob still with his hand out.

Alpha 27 And A Half ran through the corridors to the bridge. He didn't have a map, so he got lost for awhile. As he was trying to find his way there, the bridge was busy with the aftermath of the battle settling in. And the captain was still there watching his captain's screen seeing final results of the tournament. That was fine for the rest of the crew, since he usually hindered more than helped. The tactical officer walked up to the captain.

"Hey there Bill," the captain said with a grin, "Guess who just won 40 space credits?"

"Um, my name isn't Bill." the tactical officer not named Bill answered.

"That's right. Me. I wonder what I'll do with it..." the captain trailed off.

"Alright sir. I have the report of Operation: Dovedozer." the tactical officer handed out the holo-pad for the captain to read.

"You read it, I'm too excitied over my winnings."

"Um, ok." he began to read from the holo-pad, "The ship is barely holding together, hull integrity is at 4%, nearly all weapons destroyed, we're out of toothpaste and cabbage, and the crew is thinking of mutiny. But I do have good news."

"You saved us a lot of money on our Ship Insurance?"

"No, we recovered the classified cargo. It's a holo-video."

"To the briefing room!" the captain said with a dramatic flair. "That is where the big screen holo-TV is, right?"

"Yes sir."

Meanwhile, Alpha 27 And A Half was still trying to find the bridge. So far he had visited the kitchen, the target practice room, the weapons locker, the only bathroom on the ship, the medical bay, the kitchen again. Then he saw a sign. "Bridge, 1700m". It was pointing up, so by logical deduction, the bridge was 1700 metres directly up! Alpha 27 And A Half found the nearest turbolift and went up.

Back in the briefing room, the bridge crew was getting set to watch the holo-video. Much to the captain's dismay, the microwave was broken, so he could not eat his popcorn. The security officer was about to put in the holo-video-disc.

"Now before I put it in," the security officer began to ask, "Does anyone have any questions? Like why does the janitor need to be here?" The captain raised his hand. The security officer sighed. "Yes, captain?"

"Will any of this be on a test?" the captain asked. Everyone rolled their eyes. "I mean, the last captain I had showed me a video, and I wasn't paying attention, and I think I got a D on that. So..."

"Yes, captain, this will be worth 100% of your captain's mark."

"Right, I shall listen with the ears of an eagle!" The security officer put the video in. Up came the GTVA logo and a voice began talking.

"The following is classified level Rho. Unauthorised access is punishable under the GTVA security act, Deneb convention, section 21.3.5."

"Whoa, whoa hold it." the captain shouted. The security officer paused the holo-video. "Do I have authorised access? I don't think I'm level Rho..."

"We don't listen to the GTVA security act, we're NTF. Remember?" his first officer noted.

"But if they find out, we'll be sent to the Vega Penal Colony! I don't want to be busted for watching a movie!" Without another word, the security officer unpaused the video and turned up the volume real loud.

Meanwhile Alpha 27 And A Half finally reached the bridge. The bridge wasn't 1700m up, but 1700m forward. He noted to have a word with the map makers. But as he scanned the bridge, he noticed it was empty. So Alpha 27 And A Half decided to give himself a little tour of the place. Through the window he saw the planet Sirius II, a large green and blue planet with many cities. The Terran-Vengeance was currently in orbit around the planet in a low orbit in an attempt to hide the ship from any pursuers.

Alpha 27 And A Half saw that the helm was very different from his fighter. There wasn't any flight stick or throttle control. He tried accessing the help menu, hoping that holo-clip would come up again. As he was fooling around with the console, a door opened up to his left and around 10 people came out. Alpha 27 And A Half quickly got out of his seat, afraid he would get in trouble.

"Hey who are you?" one of the people coming out of the room asked.

"I'm Alpha 27 And A Half", he said, still afraid, "the captain said he wanted to see me."

"Oh yeah, that's me." the captain stated, "Good to meet you. Always good to have a new pilot. My name is..." He paused and took a big breath. "Captain Viscount Corneilius D'Avery the Fifth... Esquire!"

"Cool!", Alpha 27 And A Half exclaimed, "I wish I had a name that cool." The helm officer looked at the captain with her mouth open.

"THAT'S your name?" she gave him a very odd look, "You said it was Allan. Allan Frale."

"That was yesterday," the captain said matter of factly, "but now, I am Captain Viscount..." he was interrupted by the blaring alarms.

The warning alarms.

The warning alarms with big red flashing lights.

The warning alarms with big red flashing lights that mean you're screwed in 5 minutes.

The captain took a blind guess that there might possibly be trouble. Then he thought about how much popcorn he could buy with 40 space credits.

===
 
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Ah, the holo-video is the construction of the Collosuss? nice.

on to the compliments: :lol: hahahahahhaha! more, more!
 
Thank you Grammar Inqusition. :p

But I suppose that's what I get for writing this in Notepad.
 
Axem said:
...interrupted by the blaring alarms.

The warning alarms.

The warning alarms with big red flashing lights.

The warning alarms with big red flashing lights that mean you're screwed in 5 minutes.

The captain took a blind guess that there might possibly be trouble. Then he thought about how much popcorn he could buy with 40 space credits.
Click to expand...

A little slow, isn't he? >)
 
No one insults Captain Viscount Cornelius D'Avery the Fifth... Esquire, and gets away with it! Okay maybe they do, since his mind goes back to popcorn pretty quickly.

===

Chapter 4- Emergency Landing

Panic broke out as the flashing warning lights came on. Everyone got to their battle stations, ready to sort out the problem. All stations reported in. There were no enemy ships coming out, the reactor was fine, no rampaging fires. Then the helm officer found the problem.

"Some idiot steered us right toward the planet!" she reported.

"Now why would you do that helm?" Captain Viscount asked, "Don't you know how expensive these things are?"

"I didn't do it!" she said defensively, "I was in the briefing room with you idiots the whole time."

"Fine whatever. Just take us out of here!" the captain ordered.

"I can't, we're stuck in the gravity well of the planet. We can't get out."

"Very well." the captain looked up at the ceiling, "Man the escape pods!"

"We don't have any." his first officer said, "You said they were against your religon, remember?"

"That's right, I'm an aBETACist. I still have seen no proof that the treaty exists." he said with his arms crossed.

"Wait, what about that transport in the hangar? There should be enough room for us." the security officer suggested.

"There's only one thing we can do." Captain Viscount turned to Alpha 27 And A Half, "Alpha 27 And A Half, take this to my boss." He gave him a HoloDisc, "These contain the plans to a battlestation the size of a small moon. If the Empire is to complete it, we are doomed!"

"I thought they were for their new ship, the Colossus." his first officer said looking at him oddly.

"I lost interest halfway through and started to make up my own story. Now go Alpha 27 And A Half! For freedom!" Alpha 27 And A Half took the plans and took off for the hangar leaving the rest of the bridge crew to go down with the ship. That is until the first officer had a cunning plan.

"Captain look! The Iceni! Bosch has come to rescue us!" he exclaimed. Captain Viscount and the helm turned to the view screen.

"Hurray! We're saved!" the captain raised his arms in delight. The helm officer quickly suspected something and looked back at where the rest of the crew was. Was being the key word. They had all taken off.

"I think we've been duped sir." she said. Of course the Captain couldn't hear her as he was quickly rushing out of the bridge to save his own butt. She heard the words "I believe in you BETAC!" coming from the hallway. She took this as her own cue to leave as well.

Alpha 27 And A Half finally reached the hangar. He saw the pilots taking off in their own craft, saving themselves from a firey entry. He was about to get to his own fighter when someone stepped infront of him. It was FredBob the deliveryman.

"Okay, you are gonna like..." he said in a cool tone, "Pay me now? Like, your ship is going down."

"I have something even better for you!" Alpha 27 And A Half said with much excitement in this voice, "We're going to deliver these plans to Command and save the galaxy! Wanna come with me?" FredBob thought about it for a moment.

"I dunno dude." he said reluctantly, "Sounds real dangerous." As FredBob continued to think, the bridge crew arrived at the hangar and quickly commandeered FredBob's transport. The transport quickly lifted off and jetted out of the hangar. FredBob looked at Alpha 27 And A Half. "Yeah sure, why not."

"Great, we'll need to find another ship, since mine also has room for one." Alpha 27 And A Half began looking around for another fighter. One had finally caught his eye. A Medusa Bomber, it had room for a pilot and a gunner, enough for both Alpha 27 And A Half and FredBob. They both quickly got into the fighter and Alpha 27 And A Half activated the engines of the craft. FredBob leaned over to Alpha 27 And A Half.

"Have you ever flew one of these before?" he asked.

"No, but it can't be that hard." Alpha 27 And A Half said, "I mean all these cockpits look exactly the same." With that Alpha 27 And A Half pushed the throttle forward and flew off. Into another fighter trying to escape. The pilot in the fighter cursed at him and pointed up. Alpha 27 And A Half didn't know what that meant, so he just looked up. The other pilot sped off through the exit. Alpha 27 And A Half turned and did the same. As he left the sinking ship, Captain Viscount and the helm officer entered the hangar.

"You idiot!" she pushed him, "That wasn't a shortcut at all!" The captain turned to the helm officer.

"There's something I want to tell you... um..." he stopped.

"Sara"

"Right, I just want you to know..." Captain Viscount paused for a second to let it sink in, "That you are... my new first officer!" A look of terror washed over her face.

"No way! I'm not going to make you keep me here to die." she began to run to Alpha 27 And A Half's abandoned fighter. The captain chased after her.

"But wait, I need a first officer to deploy the giant chute!" Sara stopped in her tracks and looked at him.

"The what?" she asked as if she was afraid to know.

"You know, when a guy falls out of an atmospheric fighter, he has a parachute. Well I made sure that this ship had a giant one! Just in case we ever fell into a planet!"

"Why didn't you mention that before?" she then thought about the actual plan, "No wait, that is the stupidest idea ever."

"Enough chit-chat! To the chute deployment room!" By time they arrived, the Orion had entered the atmosphere of the planet and was beginning to burn up. The captain got out two keys and gave one to his new first officer.

"Why did you tear out the self-destruct system for this?" Sara asked.

"Wasn't using it at the time." Captain Viscount replied. They both inserted their keys and turned them. Then the captain pressed a giant red button that had the words 'GiaNt sHoOT' taped over the self destruct button. The captain pressed the misspelt button and outside, the giant parachute came out and miracously slowed the Orion down. It slowly drifted down over the great ocean of Sirius II. Sara looked out of the window.

"How... the... hell." she was speechless, amazed that it had somehow worked. Soon she came back to her pessimist attitude. "So now we're going to drown to death."

"Never fear!" he got out a book and pointed to it, "According to Captaining a GTVA Ship for Dummies, each Capital Ship made by the GTVA has the same density of Water! And with all the crew gone, the ship will be light enough to float!" Sara just stared at him.

"You are either the most smartest person in the galaxy, or the most stupidest." She continued to look out the window, this time to the sky, wondering about the fate of the rest of the crew.

In the deep reaches of space, far away from where the Terran-Vengeance had come down. The Medusa Bomber Alpha 27 And A Half and FredBob had taken came out of subspace. They had arrived at the Sirius-Deneb Jump Node. But a Deimos Corvette was blocking their way to the node.

"This is the NTCv Gravedigger." its captain began, "This node is off limits to everyone. Go back now or die." Alpha 27 And A Half opened his comm.

"Never! I will complete this mission for the GTVA or die!" he announced, saying exactly what the captain had wanted. The corvette's anti fighter beam cannons glowed to life. Alpha 27 And A Half would have to use all his training and skills to get out of this pickle. Actually it was more of a jam.

===
 
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===

Chapter 5- Targetted

The anti-fighter beams fired from the Gravedigger, narrowly missing the Medusa. Alpha 27 And A Half began to dodge the shots. As the Medusa got closer, he saw the muzzleflashes from the flak being fired. Alpha 27 And A Half looked at his data display, trying to see what giantic bombs he had with him. All that were there were Cyclopes, the no-name version of the Cyclops. Alpha 27 And A Half increased his distance from the Deimos. When he got around 2000 metres from the Deimos, he turned around and was about to start his bombing run.

As soon as he got in range, he fired his Cyclopes at the corvette. As soon as they impacted, the Gravedigger began to go into chain reaction mode. A lucky shot! With a bright flash, the corvette exploded. With the corvette gone, Alpha 27 And A Half headed for the node. Once he got within its boundry, Alpha 27 And A Half engaged his subspace drive and entered the node that would take him to Deneb.

Meanwhile, in some completely remote and unknown system, a shadowy figure was sitting in his office. He was studying some unknown material, that only a select few would ever know about. Another shadowy figure entered the room.

"Lights still out?" asked the second shadowy figure.

"Indeed, the eternal night ever gracefully passes over this office, like the future that will condescend over the GTVA." the first shadowy figure replied ever so serenely.

"We got a problem," the second figure pulled out a datapad, "The Vengenace went down. And we don't know where the 'item' is. The only lead we have is this Alpha 27 And A Half."

"Pursue him with great heed and inquire to him on the whereabouts of the mysterious item that I so greatly desire." the first figure looked up at the second, "And ensure that maintanance will retrofit the lighting socket in this office, so that my eyes may have a blissful journey to the great beyond." The second figure stepped out of the shadowy office to carry out the orders of his very mysterious figure.

Alpha 27 And A Half and FredBob had just come out of subspace, they had already done their quick intra-system jump from the node to the planet Deneb III. A few kilometers from where they came out, there was an Arcadia Installation. They were on the dark side of the planet, so all they could see were the lights of the installation and the ships around it. Alpha 27 And A Half heard the comm channel open, most likely from the Arcadia to find out what they were doing here.

"Welcome to Deneb III." the sort of monotone voice said, "What brings you to this exciting place today?"

"To save the GTVA!" Alpha 27 And A Half said with all urgency, "I need to rearm and refuel this ship, ASAP! The fate of the galaxy depends on it!"

"Of course it does, please proceed to the hangar, you will be in stall 3F8. Please have some form of money ready."

"Hey FredBob," Alpha 27 And A Half turned to the delivery man sitting behind him, "Could you pay for this? I'm a little... broke."

"No problemo dude," he gave him a thumbs up, "I just made this huge delivery to this Orion and... Oh wait." FredBob stopped for a moment, "Don't worry dude, I'll think of something."

Alpha 27 And A Half landed the Medusa in the Arcadia's hangar, and eventually found his spot. As he parked the fighter, a few men approached the fighter. They were all in mechanic uniforms, most likely to refuel and rearm the craft. Alpha 27 And A Half jumped out of the fighter, onto his head again. FredBob waited until the mechanics brought a ladder to the side.

"Right, so, like. What's this gonna cost me?" he asked one of the mechanics.

"125 credit parking charge," the mechanic looked at the Medusa, "and it looks like it'll be around 500 for your Bomber there."

"Right, what do you take?" he pulled out a few pieces of holo-paper.

"The usual stuff, Holo-Visa, Holo-Master Card, Holo-GTVAian Express..."

"How about this coupon for 1,000 pizzas, 45 kegs of Bosch Beer, 500 orders of Buffalo Wings and a bunch of other stuff?" he pulled out the coupon.

"Hmm..." the mechanic thought about it, "Well, sure why not." FredBob gave the mechanic the coupon. FredBob and Alpha 27 And A Half both began to walk toward the exit. The mechanic then took a hard look at the coupon to see when it would expire, then he realised what it really was.

"Heeeeey, this is a bill!" By time he looked back at where FredBob and Alpha 27 And A Half's last were, they were already out of the hangar.

After wandering about the station for a bit, Alpha 27 And A Half and FredBob got to the food court.

"So what do you want to eat at?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked, looking at all the bright signs.

"How about Headburger King?" FredBob suggested, "They have some far-out sauces. Like this one time... actually I don't remember that." He scratched his head.

"Sounds great!" Alpha 27 And A Half replied, they walked over to the Headburger King. There a light brown Vasudan, in a company uniform with a holo-name tag that read Kr'en, was taking orders. Or would've been, if anyone was there. Headburger King wasn't doing so greatly lately due to the Mad Head Crisis. Kr'en looked at the two coming up to him. He began to speak in his Vasudan tongue and a translated version came out right away.

"Oh boy, more arrogant Terrans to serve." the Kr'en said, "What would you idiots like today? A 14 year war? How about a renegade intelligence service?"

"Not today my brown friend," said Alpha 27 And A Half, "We'll just have two #1's."

"Would you like extra Spite with that?" he asked turning to fetch their orders.

"Is that the new soft drink that just came out?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked, but Kr'en just ignored him. Alpha 27 And A Half then noticed a funny sign.

"Heh, look FredBob," he pointed to the sign, "Do Not Disturb the Vasudan." Kr'en got their orders and looked at them sternly.

"Do you really want to tempt fate?" he said to them, he then put their orders on the counter infront of them. "Now pay up, 14.35" FredBob reached into his pocket and gave Kr'en another coupon.

"Good for a keg of Bosch Beer!" FredBob pointed out, "Can't get a better deal than that."

"Thank you so much." Kr'en said sarcastically. You couldn't really tell it from the translator's mono-tone voice though. He took the coupon anyway, hoping to redeem it for the one thousandth credit equivalent to spite FredBob.

As Alpha 27 And A Half and FredBob went to go find a seat. Then a man came over to Alpha 27 And A Half.

"Excuse me sir." he said with the most enthusiastic tone ever, "Are you Alpha 27 And A Half?"

"Why yes!" Alpha 27 And A Half said in an equally enthusiastic tone, "Yes I am!"

"You've just won a prize!"

"Really? What?!" Alpha 27 And A Half was very overjoyed.

"Death!" the man reached in his jacket and brought out a gun and pointed it at Alpha 27 And A Half. Three other men behind him also did the same thing.

"Can I trade that in for something else?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked.

"No." the four men then began to shoot at Alpha 27 And A Half. Him and FredBob dropped their Headburgers and ran back to the Headburger King. Kr'en was looking the other way, when an errant shot nearly hit him in the head. He looked behind him and saw the commotion. He reached under counter and got out his triple barrel energy shotgun.

"What part of..." he pulled the trigger. The henchmen ducked behind a few tables while Alpha 27 And A Half and FredBob dove behind the counter.

"Do Not Distrub the Vasudan..." Kr'en pulled the trigger again.

"Do you not understand?" Kr'en pulled the trigger for a third time, but it did not seem to scare off the henchmen. A few more shots came behind the counters. Kr'en ducked behind the counter too, and looked to his side at a box with a glass cover. On the glass it read 'In Case of Annoying Terrans, Break Glass'. Kr'en did just that, and grabbed the large gattling gun that was in the box. Kr'en then came back up and branished his new weapon.

"Have it your way." Kr'en pulled the trigger and out came several hundred rounds of small lead bullets. That finally began to scare off the henchmen, three had alread bolted. One of the remaining henchmen turned to the overly enthusiastic one.

"I told you, ask questions, then shoot!" he growled at him.

"My way is funner." the other one said, still with his very enthusiastic tone. Finally they both ran away to the exit.

Alpha 27 And A Half got up from behind the counter and looked at the damage Kr'en had done.

"You saved my life!" he hugged the Vasudan. Kr'en then pushed him off.

"Get off me." he pointed the gattling run at Alpha 27 And A Half, "Now give me a good reason why you shouldn't die now."

"Because I'm on a mission to save the GTVA!" he said, seeming to ignore the huge gun in his face, "Wanna join us?"

"No." Kr'en lowered his weapon and motioned them to get out, "Just go away and never come back here."

"Thank you mister crazy Vasudan!" Alpha 27 And A Half began to run back to the hangar. FredBob quickly took back the Bosch Beer coupon and ran off with Alpha 27 And A Half.

"It was expired anyway!" he called out as he exited the food court.

Alpha 27 And A Half and FredBob had finally gotten to the hangar and found their Medusa. There seven mechanics were waiting for them. Oddly enough, four of them weren't wearing mechanic uniforms. Why they even looked like those men who had tried to kill him earlier. One of the henchmen came up to Alpha 27 And A Half.

"Okay, we're gonna try this a different way." He hit Alpha 27 And A Half in the head with his gun. Alpha 27 And A Half fell to the floor. Two other henchmen went after FredBob. He tried to bribe them away with coupons, but it didn't work. FredBob also got nailed in the head by something quite hard.

And then everything went dark.

===
 
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Quality work there Axem, keep it up or you'll be facing the Vasudan next! :p

or Raa and his Typhon full of crazy Vasudans what ever is easyer.


/me returns to repainting his new rental superdestoryer, the SSD Backscratcher
 
Sorry for the break in daily updates, angry Vasudans attacking. (Thanks Duelron1001... :p)

===
Chapter 6- Escape

Alpha 27 And A Half began to awake from his latest blackout. There were alarms blaring and people were talking. Alpha 27 And A Half found himself in the captains chair of a Deimos Corvette.

No, an Orion Destroyer.

Or better yet, some colossal flagship that hasn't been built yet!

And Alpha 27 And A Half was the captain.

Ahead on the viewscreen was a huge black and red ship. One of the bridge officers, lets call him Al, turned to Alpha 27 And A Half.

"Captain!" Al said, turning toward Alpha 27 And A Half. Alpha 27 And A Half knew exactly what to do.

"FIRE ALL BEAM CANNONS!" Alpha 27 And A Half ordered.

"Uh captain," Al said ignoring the order, "You're not wearing any pants." Alpha 27 And A Half looked down realising Al was right.

"Nooooooooo!" Alpha 27 And A Half screamed at the top of his lungs. He then found himself in a dark prison cell. It was only a dream.

"Will you shut up?!" a voice yelled at him from behind. Alpha 27 And A Half looked behind him and saw his old friend Kr'en the Vasudan, as happy as always. Next to Kr'en was FredBob, happy to see that his friend was alright.

"Kr'en!" Alpha 27 And A Half exclaimed, "I just had the weirdest dream. I didn't have any pants and..."

"No, stop." Kr'en interupted, "I'll kill you if you continue."

"What are you doing here Kr'en?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked, "Last time I saw you, you were shooting up the food court with various weapons."

"Yes, well I should have killed you when I had the chance. Those shady Terrans though I was with you! Ha!" Kr'en laughed in an odd Vasudan way.

"What are we doing here?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked.

"To like, ask you stuff." FredBob replied, "They asked me a few things, like who are you working for, where is the purple monkey, if you could be a space monster, which one would it be. You know."

"What did you exactly tell them?" Kr'en asked.

"I work for Senor Gonzalo Miguel Cortez, the monkey is with him, and I would be a giant purple space monkey if I had the choice."

"Wonderful." Alphs 27 And A Half looked outside the cell to the guard keeping watch, who was currently reading a holomagazine. He got up and walked up to the force field keeping them in place.

"Excuse me sir." Alpha 27 And A Half said authoratively, "You have imprisoned the person charged with saving the GTVA! Let me go or the GTVA will destroy you!" The guard ignored him and kept on reading. Then the overly entusiastic person came into the prison block. The guard snapped to attention.

"Commander Lagor!" he saluted.

"Very good! Now come Alpha 27 And A Half!" Logar motioned for the guard to drop the field, "You have many questions to answer!" Logar led Alpha 27 And A Half to a dark room. He motioned him to sit down. Across the table, there was another man, but he could barely see him. Logar sat down at the other end of the table beside the shady man.

"Alpha 27 And A Half, this is Henry Schlicher, he's going to be the bad cop this round. While I will be the good cop!"

"Alright 'Alpha 27 And A Half'" Schlicher growled, "What is your real name?"

"Alpha 27 And A Half." Alpha 27 And A Half replied.

"No, your name, your given name, what your parents named you."

Alpha 27 And A Half looked at him blankly.

"What's your first name?"

"Alpha"

"Your last?"

"Half"

"If you say you've got three middle names that are 27 And A, I'm going to kill you."

"Well I don't. My middle names are Twenty Seven And A, four middle names." He held up four fingers, showing how many he had.

Schlicher turned to Logar.

"Permission to shoot the prisoner sir."

"No, we do not have the information we need!"

"What kind of information?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked.

"On the Vengeance you obtained something... and we want it back!"

"Oh, you meant the item that will save the GTVA?!"

"YES! You have it?"

"Of course, it's in my pocket." He pointed to where it was in his flight suit.

"At last! It is finally ours! Now it is time to die, Alpha 27 And A Half." Logar and Schlicher both pulled guns out of their jackets and pointed at Alpha 27 And A Half.

Then Kr'en dropped in. On top of the two men about to kill Alpha 27 And A Half.

"Kr'en!" Alpha 27 And A Half jumped for joy.

"Agh..." Kr'en got up and looked at the gaping hole in the ceiling, up there FredBob was looking through it as well, "Feable Terran construction." He looked at Alpha 27 And A Half, "Come on!" He grabbed him and ran out the door past the absent guards. FredBob jumped down from the ceiling and followed them.

"So where are we?" Alpha 27 And A Half asked, trying to keep up.

"We're in an installation, although I am not sure which one..."

Shots began to ring out behind them, the guards were in hot pursuit. They began to blindly run down corridors, looking for a hangar in which to hijack a ship from. Soon they came to a command console.

"Hey, look at this!" said Alpha 27 And A Half, "I bet I can bring up a map of this place."

Alpha 27 And A Half tried his best to find a map, but he couldn't seem to find it.

"Let's see here..." he read through the different lists of commands, "Turn on lights, Activate Weapons, Fire Drill, Deactivate Cloaking Device... er whoops."

"Whoops? What does that mean in Vasduan?" Kr'en asked while firing a few shots down the hall, "That's good, right?"

"NOTHING!" he cried out, "Ha! I found it, we uh, go down that hall, then turn left..."

Meanwhile on the bridge of the installation, a shady figure was watching a GTVA fighter group fly around near his installation. But luckily for him, he had a cloaking device!

"Uh Admiral?" a bridge officer came up to the figure, "The cloaking device just deactivated."

Or not.

"So be it." The figure looked up at nothing, "It has been decreed by the Gods today that we will enbark on our adventure to our destiny. Prepare to launch."

Meanwhile, Alpha 27 And A Half and his friends were trying to find the hangar, which was NOT down the all and to the left. Rather, to the right. The hangar was already busy with fighter wings getting ready to launch. As they looked for a ship to escape with a voice came over the comm.

"Attention all crew, the GTVA is here, we shall depart for the Deneb-Vega Jump Node. Fight off the GTVA until we are ready!"

At last they found a suitable ship, a Hygeia support ship. Despite Kr'en's objections, they got in anyway and got out of the hangar.

Outside, they found themselves in an asteroid belt. GTVA fighters had begun assaulting the installation they were coming out of, but thankfully, they were ignored by the GTVA. The bombers hit the installation hard, and soon it was coming apart. The three watched as the installation was destroyed.

"And that is that." Alpha 27 And A Half said, putting his hands together.

"There's like, another ship in there dude!" FredBob pointed at the new ship that was left in the wreckage of the asteroid installation. "Maybe if they kill that one, an even smaller ship will come out!"

But it was too late for the GTVA to destroy this new ship, it had jumped into subspace, leaving everyone else behind. After the ship had left, the GTVA fighters received their return to base order and left too.

"Why aren't we leaving?" Kr'en asked.

"This nav thing says we need like, a password." FredBob replied, "I tried password, and uh, FredBob, but I can't think of any others."

"Great, now I'm stranded here with you idiots." Kr'en just sat down on the cold floor of the support ship.

A day passed. Actually it was half a day. Fine, an hour. Half hour, tops. A Hatshepsput Destroyer had just come out of subspace, looking for any survivors. The destroyer hailed the Alpha 27 And A Half.

"This is the GVD Psamtik, you are under arrest for anti-government activity. Stay where you are." the Vasudan on the other end said.

"Not me!" Kr'en cried out, "It's their fault I'm here!"

"Not me either!" Alpha 27 And A Half cried out also, "I need to save the GTVA!"

"Like, not me either, uh." FredBob tried to come up with a response, "Darn, all the good reasons got taken."

"Great, more escaped mental patients."

"I, Alpha 27 And A Half, am certified Not Insane!" Alpha 27 And A Half said triumphantly, "I have the medal."

"Wait, Alpha 27 And A Half?!" the Vasudan got the captain, "Look captain, its the pilot that got into that Orion! We'll get you aboard here in no time!"

And so they did.
===

No cliffhangar!
 
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